both parents work today, in the economic times it is a given. Not the old Father knows best days where mom stays home cleaning, baking, waiting to greet her children from a long day at school. Now mom and dad are both working until at least 5 p.m. Where then does the child go? nannies, home daycare, daycare center, relative.
So you figure you work a forty hour week and it takes you an hour to get back to where your child is after work is done for the day . Plus you may go to the gym or do some shopping after work child free, so that is another 2-3 hours. Your child, this week, has been in child care for approximately 50 hours. After you pick the child up, they are hungry and you eat right away, do any homework, maybe catch some outside time, they may play team sport. (another 2-3 hours under someone else's management.) then home to bed so that you can do it all over in the morning.
On the week end mom is usually busy with grocery shopping, laundry, house cleaning, visiting friends. Time is still not focused completely on child Sunday bring church with Sunday school and the sermon and maybe a wait in line at a good restaurant then home to bury yourself in the Sunday paper.
How many games have you played, how many meals have you sat down and talked? How much time have you spent talking, reading, playing, interacting with your child or children? Go now get a calendar and keep track for one month how much actual time you spend with your child, getting to interact, discipline, reward, just hang, you may be surprised how little time you do spend.
Then take a good hard look at the world we live in, people seem to have not much respect, for anything. Children talk back to you, use vial language, throw tantrums because they are tiered, do not get their way or because you always give in to keep the peace. Their bedrooms are heaped with clothes and toys. Is it guilt? is it because you can not say no to them? children only need a few things to choose from, anything else confuses their brain, they cannot make rational choices, that is why you have to learn to say no, and be consistent about it when they want all the junk you buy them absent-mindedly because you do not like their temper tantrums in the store. They know how to maneuver you since birth. They do not have to use words, they cry a certain tone and you know what they want, or have an idea. This is the beginning of their control. They cry you come right away, pick them up nurture them. they cry, you make them warm, feed them, change the nasty away. they want pink shoes you get pink shoes for them, they want a cute pair of purple ones for special wear you buy. Now I know some 4 year olds that have at least 10 to 20 pair of shoes, so many clothes there are piles of them in closets along with toys that no way can fit into one toy box. Children have too much stuff, we are turning them into hoarders!
I have no answers for what seems to be an endless parade of children raised by daycare, coaches, teachers and 1/4 time parents. But I do know what I think could be. take a cut in pay, stay home with the kids more, worry less about keeping in sync with what the Jones's are up too. give clothes and toys away until you have enough to fit in their toy boxes. Anything more than this is a mess creating fire danger and filth. Set a game night, read a story every night with or too them. Make time for Bible reading and learning. Set boundaries early and stick to them. Do not let a child manipulate, they turn into ugly adults that have to have their way. If your child has a speech problem, get help there are so many free resources, go to the public library. When you get off work turn your phone off, pick your child up and listen to how their day went. You really are not that important to have your phone attached to you . Pick a time to make call after your child is settled in for the night or a time you choose, but stick to a time limit of one hour.
Do make home cooked meals, or buy only healthy choices of food. Make it appetizing for child to try new foods, textures and smells. Fast food and overweight children are looking at early heart complications. Think of it this way, you think you are feeding your child when you give in to desire to stop at Mc duck or any other of the thousands of fast food places. Go to your grocery deli and make some healthy home-style choices and ask for children portion's. You are killing your child when you let them eat anything and everything, enabling obesity to continue and grow. Take control now because your child's life is really at stake! as time goes on I will add to this, please post your comments, it is time to get back to raising children to be wholesome and well rounded. Kay
No comments:
Post a Comment